ROBBED

Back in May my car was stolen. I didn't want to share this information with too many people. I have no idea why. I held it in and felt like a prisoner in my own body. So, today I just wanted it out.

 

I don't have a top of the line car. Just an older Honda that is in great shape and very reliable. 

 

I got my car back a week later without a scratch on it. They took silly stuff like my yoga mat and Kleenex holder. I swear they put new speakers in it. Because I have a great stereo, which they didn't take and it sounds much better.

They left their cell phone in the car. On the phone were pictures of me. Not pictures you can just grab off the Internet, but rare pictures. I have no idea where they got them. I turned the phone over to the police. 

 

The sad part was I had my keys and gate access code to my storage unit in the car. I live in a small guest house and the storage unit was like my second closet. I don't like a lot of clutter so this worked out great for me. If I needed a special outfit for an event I would just go to my storage and get it.

The thief went to the storage unit, even through there were security camera all over the property. The things they took were strange. Leaving a $200 coat behind but ripping through every box to find my XRCO HOF Award, along with my other HOF award. All my personal family photos, and my personalize jewel box filled with jewelry.

All material things that in reality meant little to me. Sure, I would like the photos of my deceased parents. It was truly stuff that wasn't needed. Plus, I had insurance on the unit.

I don't get why someone needs all my personal papers yet leaves an expensive piece of art behind.

It took me a week to go to the unit and open the door to see what they took. I just didn't want to deal with it.

I know this has happen to many other people. It was the first time anything like this had ever happen to me.

So now I have very few things left in my life. Which is fine because I'm not a hoarder and it's saving me money not having to pay the rent of the unit. They kind of did me a favor. They can take everything but I'll always have the memories and photos. Stealing my HOF doesn't mean I didn't win it. Who would even want it?

People can take everything from you but they will never take away memories and the experiences. We all know what we as individuals have accomplished. Of the few things that were left, I donated them to Goodwill.

I'll tell you that whole experience changed me and for the better. It made me a little harder, which I needed. It also showed me what's important in life.

Sure, I could go on the thief's FB account and harass him, (since it was on his phone). From the looks of the text messages he already has enough of his own pain dealing with drugs.

So, I'm good, much better then the thief is. I got good people around me that helped me get thought it. Then there was of course the lesson I learned about the people in my life that are fake and I got rid of them real fast.

It's not so much the material things I lost, but the lessons I learned. And those are priceless.

HEART ATTACK

Back in 2009 I read the book The Alchemist.  It gave me a message I had forgotten about. That I have a heart.

All this time I thought it to be an organ in my body to pump blood. Well, after reading the Alchemist I saw that I was not using my heart the right way. It lay dormant while my mind did all the work. 

Everything I did was based on logic, if I felt any strange feelings from my decisions (my emotions) I would brush them off as being weak. Find something else to keep me busy and then bury those emotions so deep I would never hear from them again.

Truth be told, as an emotionally neglected child emotions were something I was told not to feel. My mother told me it was all in my mind.  Yes, mother that would be correct, it was all in my mind. There was no crying in my childhood house, no reason to ever use your heart.  Every relationship I started with a boy, (which were few) my mother somehow knew from the beginning it was doomed. Telling me not to get attached because it won’t last long, he’ll find someone better then me. Looking at that from a young girl’s view the only thing I thought of is I have nothing to offer. I’m not a good student, I have a space between my teeth and a big nose.

I took the advice of the book and starting using my heart again. At first it was hard my mind would not shut up when my heart was talking. Over time with practice I was starting to understand the important balance between the two. Now, if I would have stayed in the Midwest instead of returning to LA my heart may have had a chance at a happy life. Although you know what they say moving only changes your location.

Well, to make a long story short; this is a blog. I woke up today and faced the cold hard facts that for the past few years my heart has been broken. I mean it’s pumping the blood and all, but the desire to be loved is all but gone. The obsessive thoughts of my mother’s words come back to me every day. That alone is enough to drive you crazy. I’m not good enough, no one will want me. That coupled with my paranoia that no one wants me because I was in “porn”.

The point is I can’t seem to get my heart back and I can’t bury things like I used to, therapy will do that to you. I was so full of love and motivation, it doesn’t seem to be there anymore. You know that excitement and desire for life and love. Sure, I’m still making it through each day but the thrill and my heart is fading fast.

People ask me what I want for Christmas I want my heart back. I have so much love in my life but why is it one person, (Some would call this person a catalyst.)  could come along with no consideration for hearts and change all that. I’m a strong person, but this has knocked me down harder than anything in my life. I really don’t understand why. Well, yes I do, no one has ever made me feel more worthless and unlovable. Not good enough for anything. Only my mom comes in a close second.

I sure don’t want to give up on love, but I’m having a tough time with this. Was I in love or was it the familiar pain of being emotional neglected that I held on to? Either way if I could have one wish, I wish for my heart back. If nothing else maybe being honest and opening up about this will help it heal.

Entertainment is Entertainment is Entertainment

Entertainment is Entertainment is Entertainment

Under the huge umbrella that is labeled Entertainment, there are many different industries. Let's see; movie, television, music, broadway, comedy. Oh yes and adult. It is part of entertainment, a few billion dollars a part of it.

 Adult companies and individuals promote and market the same way any other industry under the entertainment umbrella would.

Let's look at me for example. I have spend twenty years in the adult entertainment area. However, I had to work and function around mainstream people as well. We are interviewed on radio and television talk shows that are mostly mainstream.

It shouldn't take a genius to figure out no matter what part of the entertainment business you are involved in reassure if you have any drive and some brains you could be successful. Yes, unfortunately even without talent.

Marketing is marketing and branding is branding. If you understand it and know what you are doing it doesn't make that much different what you're marketing and promoting.

As a performer I have had to market and promote myself (back before PR in adult). I had to continue to reinvent myself to stay on top, or near it. Creating an image that would stand the test of time. Getting myself where I needed to be to be seen, networking with people.

There are other adult actors that have done incredible jobs at self promotion. The big name that comes to mind is Lisa Ann. Steven St. Croix wrote and published his own e-book, which eventually went to softcover. There are a lot more of us!

Most of the people I network with are mainstream. They love talking to adult people and I get a foot in the door where a mainstream actor wouldn't, because I'm from adult. Now the key is what I do when I get that foot in.

Networking is key, if you are not a likable person or have no social skills I would suggest you work in customer service. You should have some business skills. Like knowing how to format a letter and make invoices for billing. You are running a business, YOU!

My marketing and promoting experience go much further then adult entertainment. I was a counter manager for a major cosmetic company for many years before I stepped in front of the camera at age 28. Talk about pressure, I was planning events, promoting them and getting people in the chairs. My counter was the number one counter in the region. Say what you want about the cosmetic business, but again a billion dollar industry with massive competition.

We are not talking $5 tickets to see a show that would be better suited for your parents basement, but $200 jars of cream for your face. In a pool of twenty other companies with the same thing.

How can you sell your product over another? It's the same across the board. Present, educate, excite and leave a great impression. If people don't like you they won't  buy the product from you. They will buy the product from another store or sales person. Or buy it from you, but never come back again.

What I am saying is experience in promoting and marketing has no industry lines. So, whether you have twenty years experience in marketing jellybeans or skin-flixs, if you have been successful at it, chances are you will continue to be successful. Sure it may take a few months to a year to figure out the fine details of each industry, but if you keep your mouth shut and your ears open you will get it.

Oh, one more big thing, Don't burn bridges, if you want to be in entertainment for a long time. You're going to see these people again. You're going to need them for something in the future.

Speaking from personal experience nothing feels better then sitting in the casting chair and have a person come in and audition for a job or a part. You look them in the eyes and remember how they screwed you for no reason a few years back. No matter how much talent they have they're going home a loser. Fair or not, that is reality.

And that thing called your ego that is probably bigger then your bank account, deflate it. Cuz,  everyone has one and no one wants to see yours.

 

　

　

　

THIS IS ME!

THIS IS ME!

http://kenboxerlive.com/2013/11/01/rebecca-bardoux-adult-motion-picture-actress-guest-11072013/

FULL MOON AWAKENING

Thank god! The full moon is passed and so is my PMS. Both of these can be hell on their own for me but when put together, it’s a double disaster. (I wrote a bit for my comedy act about it.)

I knew they were both coming, I chart that shit now, I learned the hard way. I can’t hide myself from the world like a monk during this time. So, I try to stay healthy and focused. Of course anything that happens isn't that big of a deal anyway, I mean during any other time of my life.

Long story short, of course I was in situations that were hard to deal with the last 5 days or so. I never doubted myself, and I am going to continue to do my life my way.

With all those feeling running inside me, this morning after a double disaster weekend, the thought that maybe I would consider dating women came to me.  Anyone that knows me will tell you I love men. Not interested in women sexually.

Maybe that’s just a cover up. I have never experimented with women in my personal life. Maybe I have been trying to force myself to want men so much to hide it. I am sure there are a lot of people out there that can shed some light on this subject for me.

Dating women would not be just a sex thing for me. In fact that would be that last thing I would want. I want to see what’s there on an emotional level. Quite frankly sex is sex. I get excited from being with someone when there is an emotional bond.

I think at this point in my life I better check and see if I am batting for the right team. I always just assumed I was.  Or told from childhood it was wrong. Yes, that would be more like it.

Keep peeling back the onion, that beautiful light on the inside is getting brighter.

Monday Morning Phone Calls

Do I believe there is sex trafficking in the LA Adult Entertainment Industry? Two hours ago when I was making my morning coffee I would have said no. (To be honest I didn't know the true definition of sex trafficking, till today.) A phone call later, it’s clear.

It is not the entire industry that falls under this definition of sex trafficking. Unfortunately, a larger percentage does and the number is growing every day. Quite frankly there is nothing that can be done till it’s stopped. Sadly, there are are so many willing victims. 

You think I want to have to face this? I love this industry. I stood up for this biz when society was throwing tomatoes at us with one hand and jerking off with the other. I’m not going to sit back and pretend it’s not here. That would just be an irresponsible thing to do. This sucks; I spent a good portion of my career trying to show people that the adult industry was not a “bad” place. 

 How do I come to terms with this? Not talking down about the industry, but knowing it may not be a good place for some. This is what it’s like to watch a love one stand trial for a murder you know they committed? 

 I’m not walking away, just moving down the block. Getting some distance so I can take a look at this clearly. I stomp my feet, yell, scream and cry. Pray that it will be like it used to. How did it get this way?

 Go back in my house, sit down and think to myself, there has got to be a great joke in this somewhere.

FAREWELL, FOR NOW!

In the past year I have been blessed with a lot of new opportunities. I have taken a few of them. Now I am working hard on my comedy. I will be setting up a tour. I am also going to be working on a mainstream movie.

So, I had to make some decisions. It is with saddest, I am dropping my radio show for the time being. I want to thank XXX Pornstar Radio for giving me such a great opportunity to fulfill my dream of having my own show. It brought my career and life to a new level.

In fact if it wasn't for my radio show, I would never have been approached by a  comedy management team. So, the journey  seems to be moving along nicely.

Doing my own show, revealed a different part of me. Considering I was the shyest girl in high school. I enjoyed interviewing all the different people that were somehow connected to the adult industry.

Thank you to everyone that supported my show.  It was a learning experience for me. I met a lot of great people because of it.

So, again thank you. I am going to miss it. Look for some exciting exclusive interviews I do on the mainstream movie set.  XXX Pornstar Radio will have it!

JUST THE FACTS

I was always under the impression that when a press release or news piece gets submitted, the facts are checked before anyone prints it.

Well, I guess that is not the case, at least in the adult industry. I was talking to a social media representative; he told me they don’t check facts. So, basically I could write a press release that I was marrying the Prince of Dubai and it would get printed, without checking anything.

First off, why would someone write a press release or news piece full of lies? I mean sooner or later people are going to get that its bullshit? Like my press release about marrying the Prince. If I never got married, I would look like a liar and a publicity whore. When I say something I do it. I guess there will always be people out there that will say anything to get attention. They jerk off seeing their name and face in print.

Is it irresponsible of the media outlets to not fact check? Was there ever fact checking in the adult industry? I wonder if TMZ fact checks, or follows up on any stories. Does the mainstream media fact check before they release a press release? 

With the age of social media, there is just so much stuff coming in to them. Do they need content more then they need integrity? With all the internet news sites, it must be about content.

It is so easy these days to create a fake life. Twitter and Facebook are great outlets for that. Why does someone need or want to create a fake life? I don’t understand it! Well, I do understand it, but I just can’t wrap my mind around it. If I wasn't a public figure (for lack of a better word), I wouldn't even have a Twitter or Facebook account.

Social media is a great way to promote projects, besides its internet fan mail. Does anyone write letters anymore?  It’s all about instant gratification these days, and snail mail is not instant. Way to slow to get the fix that is needed NOW.  I guess it could be like an addiction, especially if you are unhappy with your life, and want to be someone else.

Sure, when I was young and just starting my career in adult, I loved seeing myself in magazines (remember those). It was a thrill for a young shy girl from PA to see herself in print. These days the less I see myself in print the better. The next time I want to see myself in print is on the cover of my Comedy Central Show DVD.

                                                                                                

                                                                                                                                        JUST THE FACTS 4/27/2013                        

A few things on my mind.

Freedom of speech! Well maybe before Twitter or Facebook started. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No one should be told their opinion is wrong. In fact, a few times the opinion that someone presented changed my opinion.

Why is it becoming so hard to voice your opinion without judgment?  I love a good debate or discussion on an adult level. I learn so much more about the subject, no matter what my opinion is. In case I’m fueled with the wrong information, I listen to the other person and respond in a calm respectful manner.  If I am wrong I admit it.

I believe with clear, honest communication, just about anything can get resolved. It’s all about being clear, calm and above all honest.  It’s frustrating when those key factors of a discussion or debate are not in place, at least for me.  

HONESTY is the most important factor for me! Nothing can be resolved without honesty. Really, you’re going to lie to me. I have been fucked every which way for your viewing pleasure. You jerked off to me many times. Now you’re going to fucking lie to me. Who the fuck lies to their fantasy. That’s the way I look at it, right or wrong.  Your situation may be different, but it all comes down to being honest. 

I have been around enough to know when someone is lying to me. However, in weak moments I have forced myself to believe it’s true. Haven’t we all done that at some point in our lives? You want to believe your teenager was not drinking and driving. So, you ignore the 12 empty beers cans in the backseat. Not a good choice for you or the safety of your teenager.

Getting off the subject a little,or maybe a lot. I hope you understand what I mean. Don’t attack or be defensive when you have a discussion.  They say there is an art to negotiation, but maybe it’s a lost art. 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

 I can’t say it’s an anniversary that makes me real all fuzzy inside. It was a dark day, it was a do or die day. Without getting into the details, it is something I will always remember.

What sparks in your mind and your body that knows the day is coming?  All the memories come back. Hell they drag you back! I am also riding high on hormone changes. The big one! For a first anniversary, on a day that changed me, it’s a great combo.  Change is putting it lightly. 

I will never wish it didn't happen. In a strange way what came into my life was a blessing. I got my final examine on a life’s lesson and I passed! Life has been sweet since then. Looking back on a year ago, that was a motherfucking journey.

Now, I stand up for myself in a strong responsible way. (I am not perfect) I am confident and I know what I can and can’t do. I know when I am right and I know when I am wrong. I will admit it. I know how to communicate in a calm considerate way. I’m a kind person and respectful to other. I know who I am. The glitter is just glitter! It gets swept  away!

Last year. Not so much. Well, I may have looked that way, but I was just going through motions. I was needy, and sad for no reason. I was feeling empty. Well, you will be happy to know the space is full. I filled it with me. So, all is cooler than ever.    

I’m not really into disliking people. It’s easier for us all to coexist and have boundaries with others and respect them.  Yes, of course that doesn't always happen, but it’s a great foundation to work from. So, I guess that is my anniversary wish. That  we coexist.

 Happy Anniversary 3/20/13

FOLLOW ME FOLLOW YOU

FOLLOW ME FOLLOW YOU

If I have to see or hear one more thing about how many followers people have or have not on Twitter I am going to explode.

It is great to have people that admire you. You don’t have to be Beyoncé to be admired. I admire the little girl that lives next door to me. She is smart, sweet and very creative. In my opinion if getting followers on twitter is based on that she should have millions.

I love Twitter and Facebook I get to talk to fans and friends. We all get to express ourselves without judgment. At least I try to have it like that on my accounts. I enjoy the interaction with the followers more than the numbers. Quality not quantity. 

A few months back I got over 100k followers in a matter of weeks. I have no idea why. I did not buy them. If I am going to spend my money it’s going to be on a pedicure or buying a Slurpee for the little girl next door.

Now I notice my followers are dropping down? I don’t get all this computer hacking or whatever it is, or isn't  I don’t care. When you are in your darkest hour, famous or not, who is there for you? If you have a million followers on Twitter and you are alone you got nothing. If you have no followers on twitter and you have a loving, caring person to hold, you got everything. 

I have been in my darkest hour and I was alone. I changed my life and now I know I will always have someone if I ever have a dark hour again. You want to see what’s important in life? Hit bottom and then rise back up to the top. The only thing I lost was my ego. I found out I never needed that to begin with.

If you’re in need of a huge amount of followers to validate you. When it happens, I hope you make it through your darkest hour. 

“FIFTY SHADES OF GREY” I Read It.

I write a lot more then I read. When it was suggested by a woman I read the book “Fifty Shades of Grey” I didn't think that much about it. Sure, I heard it was a big craze and all but, I don’t like to be like everyone else.

Most of the books I have read in the past were Jackie Collins. I like that kind of read. I always have. Fantasy world of the rich, glamorous, and sexy.

So, instead of buying my usually monthly magazine for my plane trip back to LA from NYC, I grabbed a copy of “Fifty Shades of Grey”.  I started reading the book as soon as I got into my seat on the plane and did not stop till I was landing in LA.

It was an exciting and sexy book. It actually introduced me; of all people, into a world I have never been to. I always thought it was weak and boring for me to be a submissive woman in my personal life.

In my professional life as a 20 veteran of the adult entertainment industry I am dominate. I have taken care of myself for 20 years; fought all my own battles, although there were very few.

When the day was over and I was lying in my bed, I was submissive, I like a man to be a man. I like him to take over. Make the decisions and even tell me what to wear. If it turns him on it does even more for me. I am not talking abuse, just dominates. I did not fully understand the dominate role of the man until I started reading “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

This Grey character seemed to line up everything properly and to just about any woman’s liking. He was beautiful, successful, fit and ultra-rich. Isn't that what we as woman all secretly dream of in a man? Lavishing us with everything our heart desires. In this life you take the good with the bad, don’t you?

Putting myself in Miss Steel’s character, I was able to handle what he was offering. Again, I am submissive, the treatment he gave her was all right in my book.  Just follow the rules. I am very good at following the rules.

It was a very well written book, with a great attention to detail.  It took me right to the place the author was describing. Maybe that is why it took me so long to get through it. Every time they had a sexual encounter, which was a lot, I had to put the book down and recovered from it as if I had just been through it physically as well.

Well, this morning I finished it. It sort of left me dry. Which is strange since I was wet for most of the time I was reading the book? I understand it is a trilogy and to get the full story I will have to read the other two? 

Mr. Grey put everything on paper and he lived up to everything he said he would. There were no surprises and his communication with Ana was very open and honest. This to me is a great agreement. No surprises, no lies, no bullshit. It is what it is, either like it or leave. Completely harassment free in my eyes.

Simple to me, yet I am submissive and that is what I want in a relationship. Open honest communication. I would have accepted the terms of the contract and made sure not to roll my eyes unless I was feeling very naughty!

LOUD AND PROUD

Today I got a call from a friend I had not heard from in some time. He told me he came out of the closet. I never knew! He always surrounded himself with girls. He said he had those girls around to hide it, so everyone wouldn't find out he was gay. He also used drugs and alcohol to deal with it. He is clean and sober now. I am super proud of him!

This call was very shocking to me. Here was a guy that was always around girls.  He talked like he was getting laid whenever he wanted to. I do remember some of the girls he “dated” telling me he stopped seeing them when they felt things were going great. Overnight he went from loving them to disappearing on them. Now I look back and understand he was getting too close to them and his secret would come out.

I was like that when I was younger. I didn't want guys to get too close to me either or they would find out the real me. I thought I was a terrible person. This thought process came from low self-esteem and bad parenting. I didn't have my own identity, so I created lies to make myself look good. To be someone I thought I needed to be for everyone else to like and accept me. That is all behind me now, I have great self-esteem and I know who I am.  

Back to my friend, he has spent a good portion of his time on earth living a lie. As time made it harder to deal with it he turned to drugs and alcohol. He told me he could only have sex with a woman if he was high or drunk. That was scary to me since I had been with a couple guys that were the same way.

He was honest enough to tell me he has been with transsexuals a few times. He spent large amounts of money and time on gay webcamming sites.  He even got married some years back and had a child. That ended for the same reason all his other relationships did, fear of being found out.

After his divorce he started to get deep into drugs and alcohol and got a few DUI’s. In fact he could have been sent to jail for one of them. He tried a few times to stop drinking and doing drugs, but he couldn't face himself sober.

What stopped him from living such a painful life was a woman. He didn't have any sexual relationship with her. She just happens to be someone that saw through him and accepted him for who he was. Funny, that a woman saved his life.

It amazes me that someone would get to the point of almost spending time in prison just so no one would find out they were gay. In the case of my friend, no one would have cared. He would have lived a much happier life and lose so many good friends that cared about him, because of his lies.

Makes me wonder how many people came into my life that hurt me because they were hiding lies. Oh, and the people I hurt by trying to hide my lies.  For my friend and me life is so much better living it without lies.

Not everyone is going to like you. I know for a fact when you lie you bring lying people around you. Be honest, honest people around you. Be proud and accept who and what you are. If you don’t the only life you are ruining is your own. 

You may want to know who I am.

Rebecca Bardoux is a 20-year veteran of the adult film industry. She first stepped in front of the cameras in 1992, during the last of the ‘golden years’ of porn, and has appeared in 200 adult feature movies. Considered a legend by her peers and fans, she was inducted in to the AVN Hall of Fame in 2007. 


During her career, Rebecca has worked with the top directors and studios of the adult industry. She has been nominated repeatedly for her work, and has held prominent roles in many award-winning movies.
Just three months into her career, Rebecca was requested to shoot for the Italian Adult Cinema in Sicily, and shot two award-winning movies for that industry. Rebecca also co-starred in the AVN Best Film for 1992 “Face Dance”, directed by one of the pioneers of the industry, John Stagliano. She later went on to be nominated for Best Supporting Actress in a Film for her performance in 2003‘s “Heartbreaker” for Vivid Entertainment, directed by the multiple award-winning director, Paul Thomas.


Miss Bardoux also made a strong name for herself in the feature dance circuit during the mid to late ‘90s. She was considered to be one of the top feature performers, and performed to packed gentlemen’s clubs throughout the world. 


After a four-year hiatus from the industry to focus on a relationship, and to live and work in the ‘civilian’ world, Bardoux realized that erotic entertainment was her only love. Rebecca made her comeback in 2009 in a scene directed by and opposite Mo for Madness Pictures, distributed through Adam and Eve. Rebecca also shot a comeback scene for Naughty America, and she is honored with being one of the original MILFs in adults’ very popular genre.


Currently, Rebecca hosts a radio show every Friday night from 7pm to 9 pm EST on XXX Pornstar Radio, broadcast through BlogTalkRadio.com. She also pens a spontaneous blog:http://rebeccabardoux.blogspot.com/, and is a regular columnist on AIN.com. Bardoux is a strong advocate for the adult industry and just finished shooting a public service announcement in support of No on Measure B, the industry-killing ballot initiative in Los Angeles County.


Rebecca is currently working on her biography. She will be appearing in the mainstream play ”Deep Throat the Sex Scandal” opening January 17, 2013 in Los Angles, CA.
You can stay in touch with Rebecca by following her on twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccabardoux and subscribing to her page on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.bardoux.

TO SAY OR NOT TO SAY THAT IS THE QUESTION

To Say or Not To Say?

That is the Question!

There is not a day that goes by I  don’t read a tweet on Twitter or posting on Facebook that somebody is saying somebody did them wrong.  They talk about what a terrible person that person is.

So, why is it the scorned person never mentions the bad person’s name. (If someone you know beat you up or stole from you, wouldn't you tell the police their name.) Yet in this instant they tell everyone what a bad person he or she is. They beat you, took money from you or used you. Others say this person ripped them off business wise, and no one should deal with them. Not saying their name.

Well, if they are that bad how am I going to protect myself from them if I don’t know who they are? First off maybe I know this person and will go to them directly and find out what’s going on. If I don’t know them and meet them I will be much more caution now. I now have information about their character, whether it’s true or not. Not to say I will not do business with them, but I will proceed with caution.

I think it was a few years back; there was a website that went up where woman could name men that had done them wrong. If the man was married or he financially took advantage of them. I guess that site is just a list of all the sociopaths woman come across. It didn't work because some women have their own issues. They were racking a guy over the coals that had done nothing to them. They just ended the relationship.

In an industry like adult, there are people that are here for themselves. Let’s face it we are a taboo industry and attract the dark light. I think in some cases it’s the last place a lot of people can go.  They have burned every bridge everywhere else in their lives. As Amber Lynn said, “We are all just a box of broken toys”

The adult industry does not do a background check on you before you can be hired to work in it.  There are people with a shady past that come in this business.

Some of them succeed, maybe because they have finally found the place they belong. 

I myself struggled with jobs and life in general before getting into this industry. When I started working in adult entertainment I realized this is what I was meant to do.  I don’t have a shady past. The worst thing I ever did in my eyes was steal marijuana from my ex-boyfriend’s house for my new boyfriend.  Before I got in to porn.  

How do we deal with this? Bad personal relationships happen; somebody is bound to get hurt when another person doesn't want them around anymore. So, unless this person stole money from you, beat you badly or stole your identity, crack it up to love gone bad.

What about the business end of it? I run my own business, the business of me. I deal with a lot of different people coming to me with deals and I also go to other people.   I want to believe when it comes to business everyone will be upfront and honest. As we all know that is not the case.

To drag my ego into this for a minute, it amazes me that people in this industry would try to rip me off. I have 20 years in this business and know just about everyone that is anyone in this business. You can say I am part of the foundation of this industry, along with many other people that worked hard for many years to build this industry.

 If I was a newbie coming in I would be smart enough not to screw over a veteran.  If anything I would grab on to them and never let go. I know a few people that are very successful in this industry because they did just that. Now they are one of the people the newbies grab onto.  See how that works!

I think you are getting my point. When is it OK to out someone that did you wrong? Someone that affected your money, your life. Taking the high road can’t always be the way. You keep carrying that injustice that was done to you, it has to affect you on some level. 

Isn't it just better to put it out there in the public and let the other person stand up for themselves?  Hey, if someone was saying stuff about me I would much rather have the opportunity to stand up for myself, then have people not sure of what to think of me.

You can’t come out and bash the person, but you can tell your side of the story, and hope that person comes out and tells theirs.  They may just change their ways, knowing that if they continue to do this people are going to say something.

So, when you tell your side of the story what does that make you? Will people say good for you, standing up for yourself or that you are bitter and who cares.  I guess it’s the way you do it that will determine how people feel about you?  I guess there’s only one way to find out, just do it?