Tera Patrick on XXX Porn Star Radio

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

AHF Press Conference: My chat with Hayden Winters

Former Adult Film Industry Performer Hayden Winters

On September 17, 2012, I attended AIDS Healthcare Foundation’s “Yes on Measure B” press conference. After the conference, I approached one of the speakers, Hayden Winters, and asked if I could speak with her for a few minutes.

My first question for this former adult performer who is now supporting and representing AHF was, why did you want to get into the adult industry?  She told me it was because she needed a job.  Then I asked her why she just didn’t get a job at McDonalds or somewhere else.? She said she heard you could make a lot of money doing porn.

Hayden Winters was eighteen years old when she went to OC Modeling in June 2010 to talk to an agent about being a porn star. She said the agent and her friends persuaded her to do it. The agent told her how beautiful she was and what a great body she had. She had a good look for it.  The agent said she had the potential to be a big star.

She blamed the agent for getting her in it. “He lied to me and told me I would make tons of money and go to red carpet events.” At that point I asked her if she had ever gone to see an agent in the mainstream industry, she said no. What I explained to her was that agent would say the same thing as well. They make money when you get bookings. I also said that even the guy she goes on a date with will tell her how beautiful she is, just to get in her pants.

It is you that makes the final decision. You are the only one that decides whether you will start doing porn. Allowing the agent and her friends to persuade her was her choice. “Don’t blame anyone else, it was your choice.” She agreed with me. She told me she did not make the kind of money she was told she could, and that she did not become a star, in the one year she was in it.

I asked her how it could be so easy for her to say ok, to getting naked and having sex on camera. She didn’t really think about that part she was thinking about the money and fame!

She didn’t think about the fact that she would be splashed all over the internet for the rest of her life, whether she was still in porn or not. All she was thinking about is how much money she could make for doing very minimal work. Dressing up in sexy clothing and having her picture taken at the awards shows and other events.

Hayden Winters may have sat around one night with her friends as they tried to figure out how to make a lot of money fast with minimal effort. Where porn came up in the conversation I don’t know. I couldn’t understand how it was so easy for her to make that decision. She was eighteen years old needed to make money and never thought past that night. She and her friends had created delusions in their heads, I bet they could not even see pass the money, to realize they were going to be having sex on film for the world to see. She wanted to go from a to z, without realizing there where letters in between. She was making a life changing decision and didn’t even realize it.

Hayden agreed and became accountable for her action during our conversation. The last thing she said to me before she was pulled away was. “I would probably start doing porn again. Everyone was nice to me.”

All this happen just 5 minutes after she got up and spoke, telling everyone that the porn industry was not safe. She stated the pay check wasn’t worth the risk.

Hayden Winters did not contract HIV or any other STD, so why would she be standing up for “Yes on Measure B”? Derrick Burts is a friend of hers. He was one of the friends with whom she went to that agency in 2010. She said she was persuaded to get in the industry for the money; maybe she was persuaded into this for money.

I talked to Hayden one more time before she left the conference. I also took a picture with her. She was very nice and respectful to me. I got the impression if I asked her to shoot for me she would. Like she was waiting for the next best thing.

The adult film industry did not persuade this girl to shoot porn. The adult film industry did not exploit her. Hayden walked in that agent’s office on her own free will. When things did not work out the way she wanted it to be, she got upset.

Young women like this give the industry a bad rap. They say that porn ruined their life. They didn’t get what they wanted, so they blame the industry. They should only blame themselves. Just because it’s porn you still have to work at it; it’s a business like any other.

Michael Weinstein stood up and told the press that porn exploits people. I think he is exploiting Hayden Winters. I believe this whole situation is not about protecting adult film performers, it’s about money.  When laws and ballot initiatives are about money, it is always the taxpayers that pay in the end.

I looked for Hayden Winters on twitter -- she was there, even has a wish list. 

"Yes on B" Condoms in Porn Press Conference.

I attended the press conference to launch the campaign “ Yes on B” Condoms in Porn.  What a huge waste of money. If that many people vote yes in November the industry will be just fine. It was held at the Sheraton Universal Hotel. As the documentation reads.  “The Starview Room offers floor –to-ceiling views of the San Fernando Valley, home to Californian’s adult entertainment industry; the room also provides a bird’s eye of Vivid Entertainment on of the largest porn producers and an outspoken opponent of condoms in films.”

This was my first time attending anything like this during my twenty years in the adult industry. I am ashamed to admit that. All the information about the ordinance I had up until today I got from Twitter and people within the industry. Well, today I learned a lot more, and not just about condoms in porn.

Let me start with the ordinance. “County of Los Angeles Safer Sex in the Adult Film Industry.” Michael Weinstein is doing this to protect the performers in the adult industry. After the conference I personally asked him why he was doing this and he said, “Because it needs to be done” He also said that the adult film industry is sending the wrong message to the world. He told me the message was “You can’t have hot sex with a condom.” I told Weinstein that I have been in the industry for 20 years and I never heard that message. I asked him if he could direct me to where he saw that message, he could not.

From the questions I asked Weinstein this is the information I got. He has no knowledge of the porn industry, however is concerned about the safety of the performers. They deserve to be protected just like any other industry. During the press conference we were informed my Weinstein that there would be nine billboards going up and commercial spots. What that means, everyone is going to have to start explaining the porn industry and condoms to their young children. We know they are a curious little bunch. I guess that will be the big topic on the school playground. Poor SpongeBob Square Pants, beaten out by the adult film industry and condoms. Weinstein has concern for the performers in the adult film industry, but not six year children. At less that is the way I see it.  

Getting back to my conversation with him. I drew his attention to how much money was being spent on this campaign, when the money could be used for research, education and treatment of the disease. In the press conference he seemed to have blamed the adult industry for one of the reason so much money is spent on care and treatment. The adult film industry infests them and then AHF has to use their money to help the performer after he is cast out of the industry with nowhere to go. It’s ok to be a crack whore on the street doing illegal drugs and soliciting for sex to get treatment?  Quite frankly, how does anyone even know if these infected former performers got the disease on the set? On the documentation that was given to everyone at the press conference, this is how the performers are described. “Former adult performer who became HIV-infected while working in the industry.” They were working in the adult industry yes, but is it proven they got it on a set?

Are these former performers being paid for their involvement in this campaign? There has to be some compensation. Two  of the performers I spoke with told me that one of the motivators for getting in the industry was money.  When I asked one of the former performers if he used condoms in his personal life he said, “No, not all the time. In fact during my conversation with him, he made it clear he wanted to be able to make a lot of money, in a very short time. So, he had the freedom to do what he wanted whenever he wanted. If you can have sex for money on film, bet it would be pretty easy to do the same thing without the camera, too.  At twenty two years old, he felt he was entitled to that? Oh, yes the entitlement generation.  That topic is for another time.

So, after not getting any clear answers from Weinstein he shook my hand and agreed to disagree, I strongly agreed.  Now this is what is bothering me about this whole condom thing. It’s all about protecting the performers in the industry. On the ordinance it says, “The purpose of the measure is intended to minimize the spread of sexually transmitted infections by regulating the adult film industry.” It does not say within the industry or anything about performers.

I’m thinking this has nothing to do with the adult industry, and a lot to do with getting funding from condom companies. I wonder if he knows about the Pink Cross organization.  Oh, one last thing is it me or does Michael Weinstein bare a resemblance to Anita Bryant.

Welcome To Your Darkside

Twenty years in the sex biz, millions of eyes watching me fuck; I am getting them off or turning them on. I knew nothing about men, but what my mother told me. “Marry for money, not for love.” I didn’t marry for money; I made my own making love to the camera. I never dated during my hot and heavy days in the industry, to busy being Rebecca Bardoux.

The guys that ask me out now come from a charmed life, nice upbringing, they are confident. They get what they want. They know who I am. They’re hot, that is one thing that may surprise you. They treat me very well, for what it is.
They all have one thing in common; they all hide me. I am the naughty part of their life, the dark side. A life they created for the uncontrollable sexual side that is a part of them. They love spending time in that world, but that isn’t their life. So, they come in and leave when it gets to be too much. It’s hard living a double life; if you don’t pay attention you can lose your mind.

I have to hand it to these men, they are focused; they can separate the real world from their fantasy life. Their real life always wins, no matter how attached they have become. I am not allowed in their real world and they make that very clear, without saying a word. And oh my god when they are in my world the way they talk, the way they touch and the things they promises. If you believe it, you lose.

 I walk away still believing (after all these years) every word they say, because someday it’s going to be true?

Puppy Love

Ok here's the puppy poop. The apartment manager said someone told her I had a dog. From the beginning I knew I wasn't allowed to have a dog. Instead of talking to the manager before hand, I accepted Zoe. Then I was advised to not tell the manager. I stressed about the barking, people seeing her, I stressed. I hate breaking rules. Not good energy to give my puppy love.

As time went on I saw she was smart, picked stuff up fast. For two months no one complained. Then last weekend, Zoe and I reached a milestone, she was house broken. Plus she was getting it, we were a little family.

Then on Monday I got the call, I knew what it was about, because I am a great tenant, as my apartment manager said. Get rid of the dog, I didn’t pick it up, she left a message. She was not mean and thanked me for being a great tenant but she cannot have this dog in the building.

Zoe is a gift and if I could snap my fingers and everything was moved into a new place, with address changed, wifi changed, I think you get the idea. Right now I can’t move.

So, I have to send her to her Aunties house. Auntie rescued her from the ghetto and then I took her. Auntie has a beautiful ranch with six other dogs and horses, Zoe has been there. It’s a 40 minute drive from my house.
I am enjoying my last few days waking up with Zoe. I have given so much to people in my life, and I never got this kind of love back. So, Zoe will go to Auntie’s house and I will look for a new place to live. She is so worth it.

Life, the more you live it.......

I was very shy when I was young, in high school I was made fun of by the other girls. Guys did not ask me out, well one did. It was so hard for me to go to school every day and have the girls call me names. I was bullied because I was shy and my mother taught me good posture. When graduation came I was the happiest girl in the galaxy. The one thing I told myself was that in twenty years I was going to come back for the reunion and be beautiful, successful, confident and give them a piece of my mind. I was 17 years old when I graduated high school and told myself that, honestly.
Twenty-five years later, like it or not I am a legend in the adult industry. It is a billion dollar industry and I made it; porn royalty if you will. I am successful, beautiful and confident.
What to wear, what the hell? What I decided to wear to my twenty-five year reunion was like nothing I have in my closet. In fact I waited until I got to my hometown to buy my outfit. So, once it got approved by my sister, I was off. I felt great, happy, and proud of myself. This sure was not the same girl that people saw back in high school, although for some reason I think most of them have seen me in the past years.
Quick recap of the highlights of the night. Most people were nice to me, and then others were just rude. The one guy I did date in high school came up to me like a school boy, asking me if I remembered him; told me if I ever needed a place to stay he has homes all over the world. Come on, like I haven’t heard that before.
Then the big guy on campus came up to me. He asked me what took me out to California. This is the moment; I waited twenty-five years for. I can coward and make up a lie, they all knew anyway. Or be the woman I am today and let those fuckers know who the fuck I am.
Of course I let them know, you guys would have killed me if I didn’t. The one question that stuck out was if drugs lead me into the industry. “No, I am an exhibitionist, but I lived a life you can’t even imagine.” On that night in my home town, I became the new homecoming queen of my high school class.

Life Imitating Art

I’m consider a cougar in the adult movies these days. These days I am also happy and comfortable in my own skin. I know the things I want to experience and I do. After twenty years in the adult business, traveling all over the world I have seen a lot, you don’t even know.
I treat people the way I want to be treated. I am honest and upfront. When I met my first cub, (real life) I could have walked right through him. My friend liked him, then he made out with me, the cub knew his strengths, I love making out when it’s good. So, after that how could I not, never did this before in real life.
I guess there are some things a girl can say to a guy that will make his hard dick go limp in seconds. There is one thing I found out from my first cub that paralyzed me for a few moments. Twenty year age difference, never would have thought, but then why would I; we had created and were living in a bubble life that paradise could never imagine. We were hooked, and every day when I drove to his house I promised this would be the last time. Understand there is no future here, and that is just the way it is.
I love and I give. When a man (the cub) has treated me like a queen for the past 6 weeks, cherished me and made me fly, is having problems I will be there. So, I took him in, helped him out, he was young.
There are a lot of things that a man can say to hurt a woman, I never hurt more than the night he told me the he cheated on me with a 19 year old. I had been supporting him for months and the first time he had money in his pocket and free time from me that is what he did. I knew it was going to happen one day. I had been goggling for information about these types of relationships months before, and that is what they say.
When a person that has cheated on you goes back to the city of the crime, you know it will happen again. Sometimes when there is great passion in a relationship it must end as abruptly as it started.
I thought there was a deep bond based on our conversations, that was only for me. He had lied to me from the start. He was young of course there were a lot of lies.
The one thing he told me is that the first porn he ever saw was when he was 14, found it in his father’s office when he was looking for a bb gun. It was me, he described it pretty good.
Never did get closure, since conversation is not his strong point. Not a thank you or a sorry, no sit down or phone calls. “We had a fling that’s it, we have nothing in common” .That is what he texted five months later. It was the most financially and emotional draining fling of my life. As far as me, I was not in love with him. I cared about him and thought he needed help. My sorrow comes from knowing that there are really people out there that deceive others that are there helping. It was not a clean slip either, his young vibrant sex drive had him contacting me on several occasions in the past five months; nothing came of it, except to put me through his erratic behavior. This whole experience has made me a more assertive person and woke me up to real life. For the first time I did not take the high road with this, but somehow I got there anyway.
Oh yeah it hurts sometimes, but you know what they say. Lesson learned, cubs are fun to play with all night, but I will let someone else life train them.