Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Life Imitating Art

I’m consider a cougar in the adult movies these days. These days I am also happy and comfortable in my own skin. I know the things I want to experience and I do. After twenty years in the adult business, traveling all over the world I have seen a lot, you don’t even know.
I treat people the way I want to be treated. I am honest and upfront. When I met my first cub, (real life) I could have walked right through him. My friend liked him, then he made out with me, the cub knew his strengths, I love making out when it’s good. So, after that how could I not, never did this before in real life.
I guess there are some things a girl can say to a guy that will make his hard dick go limp in seconds. There is one thing I found out from my first cub that paralyzed me for a few moments. Twenty year age difference, never would have thought, but then why would I; we had created and were living in a bubble life that paradise could never imagine. We were hooked, and every day when I drove to his house I promised this would be the last time. Understand there is no future here, and that is just the way it is.
I love and I give. When a man (the cub) has treated me like a queen for the past 6 weeks, cherished me and made me fly, is having problems I will be there. So, I took him in, helped him out, he was young.
There are a lot of things that a man can say to hurt a woman, I never hurt more than the night he told me the he cheated on me with a 19 year old. I had been supporting him for months and the first time he had money in his pocket and free time from me that is what he did. I knew it was going to happen one day. I had been goggling for information about these types of relationships months before, and that is what they say.
When a person that has cheated on you goes back to the city of the crime, you know it will happen again. Sometimes when there is great passion in a relationship it must end as abruptly as it started.
I thought there was a deep bond based on our conversations, that was only for me. He had lied to me from the start. He was young of course there were a lot of lies.
The one thing he told me is that the first porn he ever saw was when he was 14, found it in his father’s office when he was looking for a bb gun. It was me, he described it pretty good.
Never did get closure, since conversation is not his strong point. Not a thank you or a sorry, no sit down or phone calls. “We had a fling that’s it, we have nothing in common” .That is what he texted five months later. It was the most financially and emotional draining fling of my life. As far as me, I was not in love with him. I cared about him and thought he needed help. My sorrow comes from knowing that there are really people out there that deceive others that are there helping. It was not a clean slip either, his young vibrant sex drive had him contacting me on several occasions in the past five months; nothing came of it, except to put me through his erratic behavior. This whole experience has made me a more assertive person and woke me up to real life. For the first time I did not take the high road with this, but somehow I got there anyway.
Oh yeah it hurts sometimes, but you know what they say. Lesson learned, cubs are fun to play with all night, but I will let someone else life train them.