Monday, June 24, 2013


Thank god! The full moon is passed and so is my PMS. Both of these can be hell on their own for me but when put together, it’s a double disaster. (I wrote a bit for my comedy act about it.)

I knew they were both coming, I chart that shit now, I learned the hard way. I can’t hide myself from the world like a monk during this time. So, I try to stay healthy and focused. Of course anything that happens isn't that big of a deal anyway, I mean during any other time of my life.

Long story short, of course I was in situations that were hard to deal with the last 5 days or so. I never doubted myself, and I am going to continue to do my life my way.

With all those feeling running inside me, this morning after a double disaster weekend, the thought that maybe I would consider dating women came to me.  Anyone that knows me will tell you I love men. Not interested in women sexually.

Maybe that’s just a cover up. I have never experimented with women in my personal life. Maybe I have been trying to force myself to want men so much to hide it. I am sure there are a lot of people out there that can shed some light on this subject for me.

Dating women would not be just a sex thing for me. In fact that would be that last thing I would want. I want to see what’s there on an emotional level. Quite frankly sex is sex. I get excited from being with someone when there is an emotional bond.

I think at this point in my life I better check and see if I am batting for the right team. I always just assumed I was.  Or told from childhood it was wrong. Yes, that would be more like it.

Keep peeling back the onion, that beautiful light on the inside is getting brighter.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Monday Morning Phone Calls

Do I believe there is sex trafficking in the LA Adult Entertainment Industry? Two hours ago when I was making my morning coffee I would have said no. (To be honest I didn't know the true definition of sex trafficking, till today.) A phone call later, it’s clear.

It is not the entire industry that falls under this definition of sex trafficking. Unfortunately, a larger percentage does and the number is growing every day. Quite frankly there is nothing that can be done till it’s stopped. Sadly, there are are so many willing victims. 

You think I want to have to face this? I love this industry. I stood up for this biz when society was throwing tomatoes at us with one hand and jerking off with the other. I’m not going to sit back and pretend it’s not here. That would just be an irresponsible thing to do. This sucks; I spent a good portion of my career trying to show people that the adult industry was not a “bad” place. 

 How do I come to terms with this? Not talking down about the industry, but knowing it may not be a good place for some. This is what it’s like to watch a love one stand trial for a murder you know they committed? 

 I’m not walking away, just moving down the block. Getting some distance so I can take a look at this clearly. I stomp my feet, yell, scream and cry. Pray that it will be like it used to. How did it get this way?

 Go back in my house, sit down and think to myself, there has got to be a great joke in this somewhere.